A look into Ryan’s World
A Family’s journey searching for keys to unlock and open doors…
Hi there 💜
This is Ryan. He was two and a half in this picture, and I know it’s an older picture but I just love this one. It was probably around this time in his life that I started to realise he was different. He only spoke a few words and he was walking and running around seemingly like a typical kiddo his age… but something just didn’t seem right to me.
Ryan didn’t make eye contact, he didn’t sleep well and was known to our family as “Reflux Ryan” (!) His twin sister on the other hand had plenty to say, was able to read at the age of 2 and was “developing nicely”. Boys develop slower than girls – almost every family member told me. Fair enough, we didn’t have any boys in the family so I didn’t know otherwise.
In Feb 2017 I had the twins’ 27 months checklists to complete. I’d printed them off and had pen and paper ready to fill in during my train journey to work in London. Filling in his sister’s was pretty quick – tick, tick, yes, yes, normal, no, no, etc. I didn’t even pay attention to the questions – because everything seemed perfectly fine.
Next, Ryan’s form. Suddenly the questions seemed to be standing out to me. Does your child walk or run on their tiptoes? Does your child flap his hands? Does your child spin or rock themselves? Does your child often laugh for no reason, at no one? Does your child avoid eye contact? Is your child’s speech limited?
Wait, what was going on here? These questions were literally describing Ryan! The niggling thoughts I had harbouring at the back of my mind were suddenly at the front – and I quickly pulled out my phone to search “child flapping hands walking on tip toes”. Even before I pressed enter I knew deep down what the search engines would say. The word AUTISM… repeated on every article, link, site that I scrolled down. My train had just passed London Bridge and in a very busy morning carriage, I started to cry. Quietly, of course, but the tears streamed whilst my heart sank and realisation kicked in. AUTISM… At the time I didn’t really know fully what it meant but somehow I didn’t have a good feeling. Ten minutes later I reached Charing Cross, wiped my tears and carried on my journey to work. It was the beginning of a whole new life that I hadn’t prepared for.
Oh gosh, I couldn’t even write this first paragraph without getting emotional! How am I meant to write this blog to share my story like everyone keeps telling me to? My stories are emotional and often draining to talk about. But… they’re also rewarding. Especially when its about Ryan achieving something new or hitting a milestone (albeit years after most kids his age). Recollecting the stories give me and my family hope and determination to create more success stories. So… back to the blog. Why am I doing this? I’m doing this for my family, for other autism friends and families out there, but mostly for Ryan, who doesn’t have his own voice yet… but who is the driver and the inspiration of everything we do in life. This is for you boy-boy – and we promise we will do everything for you and leave no stone unturned💜
So here goes! My first ever post on my first blog (long awaited for the last few years!) and I really hope each and every one of you are motivated by my journey to continue through this labyrinth, searching for keys to unlock and open every door to maximise Ryan’s potential in life.
Love and hugs
RJ
PS – for those who know me well, you’ll know I’m not the most skilled at technology so a) I hope you’re impressed that I even managed to set this up!, and b) apologies to everyone if the site isn’t as professional-looking as it could be 🙂